Anime Boston 2008 Recap

Okay! So, the weekend started out on Thursday afternoon when I went to go pick Deb up from the station in Providence. This was an adventure all on its own, as parallel parking on a main street in Prov is always crazy stuff. It took me like four tries. I’m not ashamed to admit it.

Deb and I headed home and I finished my costume (because I like to procrastinate!) while she worked on a program for NFTY. Something about making up Israelis on Facebook. Honestly, your guess is as good as mine. Then we watched Make Me a Supermodel because Princess Fierce was on it, and we’re very loyal to her. Nah, who am I kidding? We’d watch it anyway.

Friday started out fairly relaxed, save for some cosplay drama which I won’t even go into because it’s ridiculous. Deb and I ran out to Shaw’s to grab some food so that we wouldn’t have to pay bunches of money at the con. We bought granola (which was delicious), cup o’ noodles (also yummy!), apples (healthy and delicious!) and peanut butter, which…neither of us really ate. I think Deb had some on an apple or something. Kind of a waste of $2.43. Which I remember, because…I’m a Jew.

We headed out to the Attleboro station for a 12.02 train—a little later than we wanted, but what can you do? The train was actually on time (!!!) and we trooped on with our giant duffles and roll-ons and my wig box and played Spot the Otaku as various people got on the train.

We got into Back Bay at about 1.00 and followed a crowd of in-costumed otaku through Copley and into the Marriot. Deb checked us in while I talked to Kitty, who was a member of Team Evil (more on this later), and then we went upstairs to settle in very briefly. I got changed and put on the Shoes from Hell (five inch heels—I measured) and put on my adorable little pink wig, and then we grabbed our purses and trooped downstairs.

This year registration was inside the Hynes, so we followed the signs into a giant exhibition hall where we encountered The Line. We were in The Line—the pre-reg line, mind you—for four hours and seventeen minutes. We counted. Because there was nothing else to do.

During this four hours we:

- watched no fewer than three mental breakdowns
- lost The Game (ha ha!) six times
- danced
- broke out into song
- explained various cosplay/AB events
- took pictures of a (gorgeous) male Sailor Mars cosplayer. Can’t even explain how awesome his legs were.
- ate really bad Hynes pizza
- contemplated both suicide and homicide
- took several trips to the front of the line to see how far it went
- talked to some really nice staff people who told us to hang in there for X many more hours

Finally we got our badges and started to head downstairs. It was about 6.30 at this point and we were sort of browsing our con books to see what was really around to do at this point. Deb, of course, was legal to go to the 18+ Dating Game, but I, as we know, was not. :( So we were heading down to see what we wanted to do and maybe sit down for a few minutes when we ran into Lupe, the very nice staff member who talked to us in line. She said she was going to get some water to distribute to the people in line, who were on the verge of passing out. Being the Jewish mothers that we are, we decided to help out.

Deb and I spent the next two hours or so carrying trays of water to people in line, making sure everyone stayed hydrated. I was called “God”, “Jesus”, and “Lovely pink-haired bearer of watery goodness”. The line finally wound down at about eight-thirty (they cut off the line at eight, I think) and, amused but thoroughly exhausted, Deb and I trooped back up to our hotel room.

(During the water-distribution period, Deb very subtly asked Lupe if there was any way to sneak me into the 18+ Dating Game. Lupe tried to pull some strings, but the policy was made due to legal issues and so she was stuck. But all the same, it was really nice of her to try! Thanks so much, Lupe!)

Back in the room, we showered, did the PJ thing, made some ramen, and settled down to watch a House rerun. It was the one where Cameron killed that old guy who wanted to die. Blah, blah, blah. Cameron’s such a useless character. We pretty much went to sleep at about 10.00, which is obscenely early for any decent, self-respecting con-goer, but whatever.

We woke up at about 8.30 on Saturday. There was a second screening of the AMV contest, and we decided to go watch it. Highlights included:

- “Serenade”, or as I like to call it, “the most obnoxious AMV ever made”: an Evangelion video to “I Know a Song that Gets on Everybody’s Nerves” with a rickroll at the end.
- “Bustin’”: a FFVII video to “Ghostbusters”
- “Twincest”: an Ouran High School Host Club video to “I Touch Myself”

After the screening, we decided to head into the dealer’s room. After some browsing, we split the cost of some yaoi manga and I got my picture taken a few times. It was about 12.00 at this point, and we decided to go get in line for the Anime Dating Game. During this line wait, my mom called and told me I’d been accepted to Brandeis! Yay! More on that in a later post. Also, we very briefly met up with my friend Rachael, which was nice.

The Dating Game was a lot of fun. I don’t remember the participants so much as the banter between the hosts, which were Naruto and Ed Elric. The usual digs were made—short jokes at Ed’s expense, various jabs at the dub of Naruto (“believe it!!”) and also Naruto informed everyone that not only had we lost The Game (ha!), but that we would continue to lose The Game whenever someone mentioned anime conventions (true), microphones (understandable, as he was speaking into one) and package delivery trucks (…okay?).

The Game (ha!) itself was pretty good, though I don’t remember exactly who picked who. There was, however, some Cosplot drama toward the end, when it was revealed that the Ouran High School Host Club was supposed to host the Dating Game, but Ed attacked them and tied them up, hiding them under a table! (The Hitachiin twins of course were tied together, and many comments were made about it.) And then, to make matters worse, represents of Team Evil came and took half the contestants (including Honey-sempai! Oh noes!) hostage, saying that they’d hold onto them unless able to make demands at the Masquerade! K-san (Ada) of course granted their request, knowing mass murder would ensue if anything happened to Honey-sempai.

Worried as we were about Honey-sempai, Deb and I decided it would be much more prudent to head up to the room and grab some food before getting into the Line From Hell Part II—otherwise known as the Masquerade Line. We made some ramen and read some manga and then grabbed the box of granola and trooped back downstairs to get back in the Line. We got in early enough that it had only stretched down about one hallway, and we snagged the last bit of wall before it jumped across the dealer’s room. We made very “good friends” with some random line-sitters, bashed some narutards, and got a little nervous about the sheer numbers of people wearing V for Vendetta masks (seriously, it was a little creepy), and finally headed into Main Events at around 6.00. Not bad, considering we got into line at about 3.00. :)

The Masq pre-show was pretty funny this year. It included a sing-along to "Still Alive" (from Portal and also That Amazing AMV mentioned above), con wishes from the chairwoman, and a TON of Good Idea/Bad Idea, some of which I will share with you now.

Good Idea: Hitting on a cute cosplay girl.
Bad Idea: Accidentally hitting on a cute crossplay boy.

Good Idea: Lolcats. “i can has pocki?”
Bad Idea: Lolcatgirls. “i are not a furry. >.< “ Good Idea: Learning the words to your favorite song. Bad Idea: “Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down...” Worse Idea: “I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves...” Good Idea: Cosplay Chess. Bad Idea: Cosplay Chess...full contact. Good Idea: Going to hentai dubbing with your friends. Bad Idea: Going to hentai dubbing...with your mom.

Mmkay, moving on to the Masq itself. Cosplot aside, I thought it was a little dull. This will sound bitchy of me, but I think it might be time to stop the first-come-first-serve process of Masquerade placement. I mean, there was one walk-on where two guys just slouched onstage wearing street clothes, gazed around moodily, and then slouched off. Um, hello? I know people with way better costumes than that who weren’t able to get in because they weren’t online at 2.53 a.m. on the day Masquerade applications came online, and it’s just really unfortunate. I know that they get TONS of people applying for the Masq and it’d be a bitch to go through applications, but let’s get a committee together or something. Fuck, we’re the best con in New England, bitches! Let’s keep it that way and not let the quality of our cosplay events suffer. Highlights of the Masquerade:

- Lauren Goodnight and Mike “Voice of God” Lee’s fabulous banter. There seemed to be a little less of it than in past years, but it was still funny.
- Sketch’s light-up costume. OMG YES.
- Duck-hunt ninjas. Don’t ask, just youtube it. Trust me.

Deb and I left about halfway through the award ceremony (it was long and boring, and frankly by 11.00 we were fucking TIRED), but we could go to bed because there was a Cosplay Chess leaders meeting that I had to get there. Damn my role. -_-;; The meeting wasn’t supposed to take place until after the Masq, but I headed up to Cosplay HQ anyway to find a few people already there. Deb hung out for awhile, but eventually I just told her to go to bed—I figured there was no reason for BOTH of us to be exhausted.

The meeting itself went pretty quickly once Ada and everyone showed up—I was going to take notes, but it ended up just being clarification of things we’d mostly already known. Mostly we just worked out specifics of the beginning and the end, which were the most complicated parts of the game—and when I say complicated, I mean complicated.

Ada let us go around 11.30 and I dragged myself back to the room, had some ramen—which Deb had so helpfully prepared for me, I love that woman to death—and then flopped down and went to bed. OMG SO TIRED.

Sunday morning started around 8.30. Deb and I figured the night before that we should get all packed before we left and check our bags out before heading out to the con. I woke up first, got in the shower, and then threw a pillow at Deb (not really, lol) to wake her up while I got into my Shuichi gear. Let me tell you, it was GREAT to be a boy again! Well, kinda. You know how Shuichi is. Just kidding, gay rights activists. Chill out.

We headed downstairs at about 9.15. Deb checked us out and then we both checked our bags with some very helpful AB staff members. We had enough time to make a quick sweep of Artist’s Alley, but we didn’t buy anything, just talked to a few people and hung out for a little bit before heading down to the Cosplay Chess rehearsal at 10.00. Deb got us breakfast at DD’s (seriously, did I mention that I love this woman to death?) and snuck a few minutes after me.

The rehearsal was pretty well-organized. I was entrusted with the Emergency Anti-Roy Mustang Super Soaker. I never got to use it (*sad face*) but it was nice of K-san to give it to me just the same. ^^

So, essentially my job was to be in charge of two of the four onstage microphones, i.e. handing them out when they were needed. Unfortunately, despite my shockingly pink hair, I was generally stationed behind Ada and a lot of tall cosplayers, which made it very hard for me to actually see people who needed mics. Fortunately Sketch and B-kun both had microphones and were able to see people a lot better than I could. Thanks again, guys!

The game (ha ha!) was very, very complicated this year. We started out awarding the prizes/humiliations for the Catch the Barrel competition, which I don’t understand at all and hence will not recap. Then, as K-san was about to introduce the chess pieces for the Good vs. Evil game, Jiraiya and Roy Mustang announced that since the kids made plans for the Good vs. Evil game without the adults’ approval, they wouldn’t play. They handed over a proposed list of chess pieces for a Kids vs. Grown Ups game. K-san protested, saying that “There’s no one we can use for chess players who epitomizes THAT rivalry!”

Cue the Neon Genesis Evangelion music, and out trooped Shinji, Gendou, Misato, Rei, and Asuka. After some screeching and squirming, Shinji agreed to play a chess game against Gendo, and the pieces were in place.

The game (ha!) went pretty smoothly, for the most part, until suddenly Team Evil came onstage and randomly murdered members of the Kid’s team! Being Shuichi, I promptly informed K-san that I was terrified and proceeded to hide behind the podium with Team Sit in the Corner and Sulk (Team SITCAS, as we fondly referred to them), which consisted of Sasuke, Tamaki, and...um...I think someone else but I don’t remember who.

More murders, more chess, etc. etc. We actually had to cut the game very short, due to time constraints, and what would have ended in a checkmate ended in Gendo (rather uncharacteristically, I think) surrendering to Shinji. The display screens read, in very large letters: “WINNER: THE KIDS!!”.

But then, suddenly, Team Evil stormed the stage and promptly started killing everyone!

WINNER: TEAM EVIL!

Suddenly, Team Evil dropped dead onstage, and Raito walked onstage quite smugly, Death Note in Hand.

WINNER: KIRA!

But THEN, Mello, Near, and Leon stormed the board and cuffed Raito, informing him that they had switched his Death Note with a fake one. Team Evil came back to life as Leon walked Raito offstage, reading him his Miranda Rights.

WINNER: JUSTICE?

Just when it looked like the now-revived Team Evil would win, who should appear but...THE PIRATES! Team Evil was so shocked that the Pirates were able to defeat all of them!

WINNER: PIRATES!!

Using their victory as leverage, the Pirates convinced K-san to lift the Pirate-fighting ban. Since the Pirates were just declared the saviors of Anime Boston, K-san agreed, and the Pirates were re-installed as the Ninjas Official Rivals—kinda puts the Shinigami out of luck, huh?

So, with that, the game (ha, ha!) was over, and Ada dismissed us after a quick cleanup of backstage. Deb and I trooped upstairs and got into OH MY FUCKING GOD ANOTHER LINE to pick up our bags. We were only in it for about an hour, but SERIOUSLY PEOPLE. Fortunately I am a very patient person and managed to keep my head about me, but it was NOT fierce.

We finally got our stuff around 3.30 and I got changed in the bathroom. Deb and I went downstairs and had lunch at California Pizza Kitchen, which was delicious, and then headed out to Back Bay. We got completely disoriented because I’m used to leaving AB through the Sheraton, but we still managed to skid into the station at 4.43—plenty of time to spare before Deb’s 4.45 train to NY and my 4.50 train back to Attleboro. :)

Hugs were exchanged and I saw her on to the train before getting onto mine. But the con love didn’t end there! I started talking to a very familiar-looking girl in the station, who turned out to be none other than Val, my Yuki from last year! I hadn’t spoken to her since AB07, and we were taking the same train home! It was very small world and amusing, and we had a jolly old time chatting on the train ride back to Attleboro.

So, that was that! The con was great this year, and I had an awesome time. No telling what next year’ll bring, but expect awesome cosplay from my end. Plans are in the works, but they’re Very Secret. :)

Who knows, maybe I’ll even get a camera so I can take some pictures.

Oh, and also? You all just lost The Game. :)

Have a great day! Read more! Read more!

Ethan Frome in 60 Seconds

So, I've decided that the books we read in AP English are stupid. So I thought I'd summarize them to make them more readable.

So here it is: Ethan Frome in 60 Seconds.

Narrator: Hey, what's up with Ethan?

Starkfield Citizes: LOL, he's messed up.

Ethan: Hey, it's snowing. Come chill at my place.

Narrator: Okay. Hey, look. A flashback!

FLASHBACK

Ethan: I hate my wife.

Zeena: *cough* So ill. *cough*

Mattie: I'm full of life! Wheeee! Look, I wear red!

AP English Students: Look, a symbol!

Zeena: I'm going to go get a checkup.

Mattie: Ethan, I wanted to make you dinner while Zeena was away and I accidentally broke that Symbol of Your Marriage--I mean, Zeena's pickle dish!

Ethan: Don't worry. We'll hide the pieces and no one will ever know.

Zeena: Who the fuck broke my pickle dish?

Ethan: Oh snap.

Zeena: BTW, I think we need to replace Mattie.

Ethan: HOMOSAYWHAT?

Mattie: Ethan, your wife wants to get rid of me!

Ethan: I know.

Mattie: But I heart you!

Ethan: I heart you, too!

Mattie: Let's kill ourselves by sledding into this tree!

Ethan: Awesome! We can--wait, what?

Mattie: DO IT!

Ethan: Okay, okay, Jesus.

Mattie: ONE TWO THREE GO!

Ethan: *totally fucks up crash landing*

Elm: Oh snap, you suck.

Ethan: Goddamn it.

END FLASHBACK

Mattie: *crippled and retarded*

Zeena: I hate you all SO MUCH.

Starkfield Citizens: Would've been better if they died, graveyard symbolism, etc etc.

Narrator: I'm getting the fuckwit out of here.

THE END. Read more! Read more!

Wherever you go...

So I was in TEALUXE in Providence yesterday, and who should I run into but Ellis Rochelson? We had a very nice conversation about college and politics and religious self-help books. It was much amusing.

I love Jews. Read more! Read more!

Juicy Couture Sailing Tote

It's $225.00 and completely unnecessary, but OMG I WANT IT.

Goddamn my love of fashion. Read more! Read more!

The end of a very fierce journey

Well, kiddies, this is it. The end of the road. The big shebang. It’s been a long journey. There’s been laughter (Chris), there’ve been tears (Ricky), and now it’s time to bring it all to a close.

*tear*


PREVIOUSLY ON PROJECT RUNWAY: Home visits. Christian (Princess) is made out to be a friendless loser (which is not true), Jillian wears the fugliest Christmas sweater ever (which is true), Rami introduces his partner as his friend, and Chris has human hair on his clothes. Chris and Rami have a motherfucking walk-off. Chris is out, and Rami completes the Final 3.

The episode opens in the hotel room to which the designers have been assigned. Apparently Bravo has come to the conclusion that there’s no way any of these people are hooking up, so it’s totally okay to put them all in one room. After seeing the very different taste all of these people have in men, I think it’s a fair point. Although Jillian’s boyfriend kind of looks like Rami, if Rami had hair.

Princess Fierce is jumpy and anxious and just wants to get this shit over with. Jillian asks if her hair looks alright. It doesn’t, but honestly, if you’re asking hair advice from a bald dude and a cockatoo, you’re already in trouble. Rami makes an attempt at Princess’s “let’s go bitches” and the designers troop out.

Workroom! The designers make casual conversation and try not to look like they’re sizing up the competition. Princess is either looking at Rami’s collection or checking out his ass.

Tim Gunn (diva alias: “Poly Syballicus. I love this man.) enters for some mentoring. He takes a minute to mentally debate the “ladies first” rule and apparently decides Jillian is the most ladylike person in the room. Good thing, too, because Mumbles needs help. She proudly displays a black-and-white striped sweater that’s really cute…until you get to the sleeves. Which look like mops. There is no nice way to say this…they look like mops. And not the flat papery kind. The old-school stringy kind. It is not cute.



Tim tells Jillian that some parts of her collection are “incongruous” which is a smart way of saying “this shit looks like it was slapped randomly together at three a.m.—and you know how I feel about three a.m. decisions, bitch”. He does have a point, though. That sweater doesn’t work with anything, on the runway or off.

On to Rami! For all his fans’ bitching about how he should have been in the F3 from the beginning, they should be thanking TPTB that he got a chance to show his collection to the judges beforehand, because that fugly blue jacket has been removed from his collection. He shows Tim a vintage dress made almost completely of antique lace.



It’s gorgeous. I hate Rami with a passion—not as much passion as he has for draping, but with passion nonetheless—but this dress is, to quote the Princess, fierce. Tim uses the words “stunning” and “phenomenal”—The Gunn approves.

Moving onto Princess. I think I speak for all the viewers when I say that even though I’d already seen spoiler pictures of his collection, I wanted to see him show it off. But something’s wrong with Princess today—he seems nervous, anxious, almost worried. Tim asks where the “cocky, confident Christian” has gone, to which Princess miserably answers “I don’t know!” Nonetheless, he shows Tim a myriad of puffy-sleeved jackets and skinny pants. Predictable? Yes. But they’re pretty amazing. Tim asks if it’s over-designed and reminds Princess to edit.

Princess interviews that he’s getting a little worried. He says that both Jillian and Rami’s collections are really innovative and interesting. Who is this person, and what have they done with Princess Fierce? On the other hand, though, this side of Christian is actually kind of endearing. Kind of makes me want to hug him. Y’know…more than before. :P

It’s time for model casting! Princess gets his fierce back long enough to put on an ugly Sparta-style hat and strut his stuff across the workroom. Jillian is worried, because she’s never done a model casting before. No one is sympathetic.

Models, models, models, blah blah blah. I missed this part because I went to go make myself a sandwich. Rami says that some of the models were great, some were good, and some were tragic. I got back in time to see a few members of the latter category. Tranny messes, kiddies, I kid you not. Princess interviews that he wants “fierce tallness and walks for days”. Have I mentioned how much I love this kid? I think he should win just by that statement. How many PR-watching fashion executives do you think are now screaming into their phones at casting agencies “I NEED FIERCE TALLNESS AND WALKS FOR DAYS”? Many. You’re welcome, executives.

The designers take their new models for makeup consultations with Collier Strong. My mom wonders if this is his real name, and I have to explain the system of Gay Naming to her—when a gay man reaches a certain age, he changes his name to a fiercer, more fabulous version. Collier Strong probably used to be “Collin Stone” or something lame like that. Bo-ring. But “Collier Strong” is fierce. My mother gives me a look that’s somewhere between stunned disbelief and adorable consideration. I love my family.

Anyway, the consultations. Rami wants “chiseled”, Jillian wants “natural”, and Princess wants “gorgeous for days”. It’s all very predictable.

Model fittings! Rami takes the opportunity to look over at Princess’s collection and pronounces it “over the top”. He says Christian needs to learn to dress “women, not models”. Except for the part where this is a fashion show. Who do we dress at fashion shows again, O Seasoned Designer? That’s right. Models. Take your pretentiousness and shove it up your Banana-Republic-jean-covered ass.

I dislike Rami.

Princess’s models inform him that the shoes he’s picked are really hard to walk in. He informs them that he personally walked around his apartment in them for a week, and if can do it, they can do it. Amen, sister! That’s dedication right there. Princess dismisses his models with a loving goodbye—“Be really skinny! Don’t eat!” I take a moment to be amazed that Bravo left that in. I’m trying to figure out if they’re giving him the bitch edit or they sympathetic edit.

Jillian is freaking out, because the girls she chose don’t match and make her already-incongruous collection look even more so. Princess interviews that it’s her own fault. Jillian tries to get new models, but ends up stuck with her old ones. No one is sympathetic.

Hair consultation with TRESemmé Hair Queen Nathaniel. Jillian wants flirty and pretty. Rami does this really weird, Victorian braiding style. Princess’s instructions? “BE FIERCE!” What more do you need?

Tim Gunn arrives for one more gather-round pep talk. There is much sniffling and hugging, and the designers troop off to bed. Princess looks about four years old when he climbs into a giant bed with pillows that are bigger than he is.

OH GOOD MORNING, RUNWAY SHOW!

The designers wake up at 4:15 a.m. Everyone is freaking out. Jillian is shown surrounded by about six bags of hair products. My first thought is that it’s all hers, but then I remember that Princess’s bed is right next to hers, so some of that stuff might be his.

Yeah, right. Who are we kidding? Good luck with that fro, Jillian.

T minus 2 hours, and there’s utter chaos backstage at the tent. Two of Princess’s models are late, Jillian’s clothes are literally falling apart, and Rami has turned the pretentiousness knob up to eleven.

Okay, pause. Go back to the part where two of Princess’s models are late. Um, who the fuck shows up late to a Bryant Park fashion show? Somehow I just see that being career death.

Princess is freaking out. Like, nervous breakdown freaking out. There are almost tears—he swipes his eyes a few times, but nothing visible. But then his last missing model turns up and cocky Princess is back. Whew.

The usual pre-runway reminders. Rami’s from Jerusalem, where he turned into a fashionista queen to escape the religious conflict—and for the record, I’ve been to Jerusalem, and it’s really not all that bad—and how he’s passionate about draping and women’s bodies, etc, etc. Princess lets us know that he really needs to win because he’s broke. Well…so was Sweet P, sugar. It didn’t help her.

Crowd shots. I think every single person who’s ever been on Bravo was there. Oh, look, there’s Jack and Dale! (My sister takes this moment to squeal “Oh, look, the Bravo-cest boys!”. Did I mention that I love my family?) Posh Spice is there.

Fun Fact: When asked in an interview what celebrity he would like to hook up/make out with, Princess responded “David Beckham.” I wonder if Posh is aware of this.

Heidi introduces the judges. Michael Kors is wearing sunglasses. In a dark tent. LET’S START THE SHOW!

Jillian’s up first. Her hair looks almost-tame and her dress is adorable. She’s actually somewhat cute.

Her collection is very Jillian. A lot of jackets. Of the three collections, hers is the most wearable. Some outfits are actually very cute. A lot of knitwear. The fugly mop sweater still annoys me. I can’t get over it. I don’t like her ending piece at all.

My favorite look:



My least favorite look:



Rami is next. Very pretentious speech about celebrating women and blah blah blah. This exchange results:

My sister: Look at the bright side. He thinks women are sacred.
Me: And yet, he won’t touch them.
My sister: Why? Is he like…really religious?
Me: He’s gay.
My sister: …I feel as though I should have made that connection.

I don’t hate his collection. I don’t love it, but I don’t hate it. It’s still very drapey and let’s face it, Grecian, but some of the pieces are gorgeous. I don’t really like his color palate—he uses some turquoises that clash with the bright reds, and it doesn’t work very well. The daytime dresses look a little forced. But the evening gowns are incredible. I think he should stick with that, personally—boy could make a killing just dressing award shows/red carpets. That’s definitely where his strength is. His pieces don’t look great in still images, which is why I had sort of counted him out, but the thing with draping is that it looks incredible in motion. Jersey is a very movable fabric and the clothes look gorgeous coming down the runway. Rami’s back in the game, kiddies, and he could very well win. I’m not happy about this.

My favorite look:



My least favorite look:

Toss up between this:



and this:



And now for the main event: Princess Fierce! He looks a little nervous at first, but quickly recovers. He informs the audience that they look “fierce”, and everyone falls in love with him a little bit.

Let me just start by saying that Princess did not come to Bryant Park to show a ready to wear line. He didn’t even come to show a remotely wearable line. He came to put on a fucking show, and put on a show he did. Hate on Princess all you want, but girlfriend knows how to deliver. (snap, snap, snap)

That being said, damn. The music starts, the girls come out, and the crowd goes wild. The collection is intense piece after intense piece. There’s a lot of volume and a lot of detail and not a lot of color. The sheer amount of black makes it kind of hard to see the details on the clothes, but it works for him. There is no low point to the show. Each piece is just as intense, if not more so, than the last. And bitch knows how to cast! He’s got pale girls wearing dark clothes and dark girls wearing light clothes—the contrasts between their skin and the clothes is tasteful but it ads to the effect. He thought this whole thing through more than the other two designers, I think, and it’ll probably work in his favor.

Also, a fun fact: his boyfriend wrote/produced the music for his show. Aw.

Princess interviews that he loves Victoria Beckham. Well Becks apparently loves Princess right back, because she’s smiling. That’s right: Posh is smiling. Game, set, match, bitches.

My favorite looks (I couldn’t pick just one):





My least favorite look:



If this competition was judged on showmanship alone, Princess has this in the bag. But the game’s not over until the fat lady sings—yes, Michael Kors, I’m talking about you.

Princess, trying to play it off casual, says lightly: “Whatever happens, happens—but I tell ya, I need a hundred grand!” I love this kid. SO MUCH. If he loses, I’ll adopt him as my pocket gay and he can be my stylist.

FOUR JUDGES JUDGING.

Everyone is impressed by the showmanship and the collections. Nina says that any of the collections could fit right into the rest of BP, no problem. This is high praise. I take it she wasn’t bored, then?

The designers trot out onto the runway, models in tow. Heidi reminds them of the prizes: new car, lots of money, Bluefly.com, a contract with Covergirl Cosmetics…oh, wait. Am I getting my shows mixed up? I need a new hobby.

Evaluations time! The judges start with Jillian. She carried her Met challenge inspiration over to her final collection, with military/equestrian-esque jackets. Kors thinks it’s feminine and chic, Posh says it’s beautifully made, and Heidi likes the new silhouettes. Nina says it was disjointed and that there were “too many inspirations” for one collection. Party Pooper.

Next is Princess. He’s very nervous when introducing his collection, almost endearingly tongue-tied. Kors says his collection was powerful and dramatic, and that the two-toned dress was “spec-tac-u-lar” (four words). Princess is starting to look a little happier. Posh loves his collection. She pronounces it “major”, which is apparently the British equivalent of “fierce”. She says it made her smile. Princess is beaming, and I can’t blame him.

Rami is last. Heidi loves his collection, which is not necessarily a good thing considering the fact that many of the things Heidi likes are considered tacky and strange, seeing as how she’s, y’know, German. Kors doesn’t like the color choices.

The designers are shooed off the runway and the judges deliberate. Nina says Princess “opened strong” and “delivered constantly”, high praise from the Queen of Mean. Posh continues to gush over how young and hip and adorable and major and etc Princess is. I start to grin because I’ve been rooting for Princess from day one and I’m starting to think he might win this thing.

They say things about the other contestants, too, but no one cares.

THREE FINALISTS FRETTING.

The designers come back onto the runway. Everyone looks very apprehensive. Heidi has her Tyra Elimination face on. I’m waiting for “Three amazing designers stand before me, but I only have one giant check in my hands…”

Jillian is out. She mumbles something grateful, gets the Kiss of Death from Heidi, and troops off to be smothered by her family her more-attractive-in-Long-Island boyfriend. Bye, Jillian! I didn’t completely dislike you!

TWO FINALISTS FREAKING.

It’s down to Princess and Rami. One whom I would be delighted to see win, one who I’ll flip a shit if he wins. Guess which is which.

Oh my God. Heidi hasn’t even said anything, and Princess is in tears. He controls himself for about half a second, but then his little baby face is scrunching up and tears are just streaming down his face and he’s blubbering like it’s the end of the world. It’s not pretty crying, but I think every viewer, even the ones who hate him, falls in love with him just a little bit in that moment.

“Congratulations…CHRISTIAN! YOU ARE THE WINNER OF PROJECT RUNWAY!”

ONE DESIGNER DANCING.

Princess breaks down, doubling over and sobbing into his hands, and then Rami’s shoulder, and then his hands, and then Rami again. I love this kid SO MUCH. Heidi tells him that he’s “uber-fierce”, Posh tells him that she wants him to design for him…I think his head might explode.

Tim comes out with Princess’s family. Hugs and kisses are exchanged, followed by this conversation:

Tim: Can you believe it?
Princess: Yep! *huge giant my-face-might-split-in-half grin*

So, congratulations, Princess. I was rooting for you to the beginning. You’re everyone’s favorite pocket-gay, and all your fans are very proud of you!



See you next season, kiddies! Stay fierce!
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Very Belated Reality-Show Update Post

1. Congratulations to my favorite reality show gayboi, Princess Fierce (Christian Siriano), for winning Project Runway!! I was rooting for you from day one, girlfriend. Congrats, and stay fierce. Enjoy your "vacay" and your "breaky-break". :P

2. There's all sorts of drama going on over in Make Me A Supermodel-land. The short version: if Casey goes home because the fangirls want to see Ben and Ronnie hook up, I will be most miffed. At this point, it's just getting old.

3. My second favorite reality show gayboi, Danny Noriega, was eliminated from American Idol this week. I call bullshit, because the poll updates showed Danny in fourth place for votes, and there's no way Jacuzzi ended up with more votes than Danny Boy(?). I smell corporate interference on FOX's part. Whassamatter, FOX? Too much gay for you? Well, whatever, Danny Boy(?). I still love you, no matter what you think Santa wants to do to my mom.

More extensive reality show recaps to follow, because I am made of fail. Read more! Read more!

Alright, seriously, tell me he's not adorable.

Alright, first of all, give me some credit. I resisted the pull of American Idol for seven years. But sometimes one clicks on the television and sees something so adorable that one just has to watch.

What is that something, you ask? That something, dear readers, is Danny Noriega.

Come on, seriously. Seriously! The kid's adorable! I mean...look at the hair! It's so...flippy! He's like...emo schoolgirl meets j-rock!

What? You want to know if he sings? Uh...yeah, I guess. Maybe. :P I'm just kidding, he's actually pretty good. He has a pretty manly voice for such a...ah...well, I'll be blunt, girly looking kid. But it's nice. It's got this sort of soothing baritone quality to it. Shelly approves.

Also, is it me, or is Idol like...way gay this season? I mean, Simon's used the word "fabulous" like six times in the last two episodes, and I'm about ninety percent sure that he's hit on like four male contestants. And Ryan, but that's a given.

Ah, the homos. WE'RE EVERYWHERE, BITCHES!

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