The Great Gatsby in 60 Seconds

Well, I did one for Ethan Frome, which sucked a lot more than this, but I figured I might as well. I actually liked Gatsby, but what can you do? Sometimes you just need to bash things. :)

Nick: I don't like to judge people. Especially Gatsby, because even though he exemplified everything I hate in a person, he pwned.

So, without further ado: The Great Gatsby in 60 Seconds.



Tom: I am big and hulking and cheating on my wife! Grar!

Daisy: Hey, Nick. This is my second cousin twice removed on my mother's nephew's side, Jordan.

Jordan: 'Sup?

Nick: Aoh. Hey.

Gatsby: Hey, Nick. I think you're pretty awesome. Let's be BFFs.

Nick: Okay.

Gatsby: BTW, I used to totally have a thing for your cousin Daisy. Think you can hook me back up with that?

Daisy: I love you, Gatsby!

Gatsby: :)

Daisy: And these are the greatest shirts EVER!

Nick: ...?

(insert several pages of background-related spoilers, essentially that Jay Gatsby=James Gatz, and he totally changed his identity. Keep your SS number a secret, girls!)

Gatsby: Tom, I'm screwing your wife.

Tom: WTF?

Daisy: Also, I just ran over your mistress.

Tom: WTF????

Tom's Mistress's Husband: This is all your fault, Gatsby! I keel j00!

Gatsby: BLARGH! *ded*

Nick: NOOOOOOOO!

All of Gatsby's 'Friends': Yeah, uh, about that funeral...we're totally not going.

Nick: Bitches.

Daisy: I never really liked him, I'm just going to chill here with my douchey husband.

Nick: Fuck all y'all. I'm going back to Chicago.

THE END.